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Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Mommy's Little Helper

Raegan is at the stage where she wants to help. All the time! Help mama cook, help mama dry the dishes, help mama make her breakfast smoothie, and so on! She used to pull up one of our bar stools and crawl on it. This made me super nervous and then the process of pulling her down and trying to put the stool back up while she throws a fit was just too much! All she wants is to be next to mama.
The Little Partners Learning Tower was just perfect for this little mama's helper. It's made of solid wood and keeps my little gal safe as she helps me. She can be right in the action and hanging out with mama.


The learning tower also teaches responsibility. It allows her to help me clean up and dry dishes. You can never start teaching responsibility too early,

Some of the other things I love about the learning tower are:

- Provides safety and versatility not found with traditional step stools
- Only step stool on the market carefully designed to meet the specific needs of young toddlers 18 months+
- Platform height adjusts quickly and easily to grow with your child from 18 months up to 6 years
- Four-sided railings provide support while your child climbs in and also prevent child from falling while inside the Tower
- The wide platform lets your child move about without slipping off of a step
- Fits flush against counters for safe access
- Cleans easily with a damp cloth

Now the question is once Hudson figures out how cool it is, am I going to have to get another one? I have a feeling I might!

Little Partners provided a Learning Tower to us to review, but all opinions are my own.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Update on Life

Life is crazy right now. Like really crazy. We moved into our house that we've been renovating for the past 6 months. Even though we are in we still have workers at the house daily. Our dogs are still at my parents because Stella is not the friendliest of dogs with people she doesn't know. I'm ready to have my girls back in the house. I miss them. 

Oh and I'm 14 weeks pregnant. You may be thinking ummm how is that possible? Well 2 weeks after my D&C with Hadley, I got pregnant again. Yep. You heard that right. The 1-5% chance of naturally getting pregnant ain't got nothing on God. I still don't understand why we had to go through losing Hadley, but we did, and are stronger because of it.

Believe me, I was just as surprised as you. I stared at that test, hands shaking, with tears in my eyes thinking "here we go again. I cannot do another loss."
I went in for blood work and again, levels were low. Again. I prepared to lose our baby. I was just starting to heal from the 10 weeks of hell of low levels, slow heartbeat, and measuring behind at every sono, to seeing that our sweet baby girl was gone. I couldn't do it again. But every appointment we went to, levels were great, baby measured wonderfully, and it's heartbeat was strong.

I still couldn't allow myself to think this was happening. I couldn't allow myself to fall in love with another sweet baby that I may never meet. Even as I watched my belly grow I couldn't open up. 

We met with our MFM (maternal fetal medicine) doctor for our first trimester screening. With our history of loss and trisomy and also Pierre Robin with Raegan having early testing is important to make sure that our baby is healthy and we are doing everything we can to sustain the pregnancy.

They looked over our sweet baby and everything looked fine physically. They even gave us a prediction if we were having a girl or boy. (keep reading, I promise I won't leave you hanging). They took my blood and said they'd have the results within 2 weeks. This test would test for down syndrome, trisomy 13, 18, 21, and also for any chromosomal deletions. To be clear, no matter the results, this was our baby. There was never talk of termination. Our reasoning for testing was to prepare. To make sure we would be at a hospital that could handle if anything were wrong and have a NICU that was top notch. After having Raegan's surprise Pierre Robin diagnosis, NICU stay, hospital transfer, etc, we decided that we would be prepared for every pregnancy after. I needed that. We needed that.

Yesterday (Valentine's Day) I got a call from our nurse. She said she had amazing news that all the results came back negative. No deletions of chromosomes. Perfect sweet little baby boy.
I for sure thought we were having another girl, but Kyle's dream of having 2 boys close in age (they'll be 18 months apart) came true. Raegan is pretty excited about still being the queen bee.

We will continue seeing my MFM to monitor the baby's chin for Pierre Robin along with my fluid levels. I had normal to high levels of fluid with Raegan and Hudson. She also saw a funky spot on my placenta that she wants to watch. More on that after my next sono to confirm if it's something we should be worried about.

So for today, I am rejoicing in the sweet miracle growing inside of me. I still can't believe it's actually happening. Sometimes I feel like a fraud though. Infertility is no joke. We have been through the ringer, but then this happened. We got pregnant. Naturally. I have been pregnant 3 times naturally. We have lost 2 of those pregnancies. I still can't understand why we have been given this gift. Why us? It's a question I may never be able to answer, but I am so thankful. So thankful for this baby.

We can't wait to hold him and cry over him because you better believe I will be crying over him. Crying tears of healing and thankfulness.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Update on Raegan Phair

I've spent a lot of posts updating everyone on Hudson every month and it's time to an update on our sweet Raegan Phair.

She is 2.5 years old. How is she almost turning 3?! I just can't believe it. She's so independent and is so smart. She remembers EVERYTHING! No seriously. Something could have happened months ago (like mommy screaming when she saw a spider and then tried to kill it, but I failed and screamed some more) and she will talk about it when you mention spider and how scared mommy was. So just be careful what you say around her because she will remember!

Oh and watching her with Hudson just melts my heart. She gives him the sweetest hugs and they love to wrestle. Then the next second she's saying "No Bubba!" and running away with the toy he's trying to take from her. Hudson loves to go in and wake her up in the morning. I put him in her crib and he crawls on top of her and just loves on her. You'd think when she woke up she'd be cranky that he was in there, but she wraps her little arms around him, and hugs him right back. Be still my heart.

Alright, back to sweet Rae. As many of you know she was born with Pierre Robin Sequence. You can read more about what that is here. She had her cleft palate repaired when she was 9 months old. We see her surgical team once a year just to "check in" on her. This past November we went in for check up and lots of things came to our attention. I've noticed that her speech was falling behind. They sent us for a speech, feeding, and OT evaluation. After the evaluations, they concluded that she does in fact need speech and feeding therapy. She struggles with eating. It is a fight most of the time trying to get her to eat. Having a small jaw makes it tough for her to chew for long periods of time without getting tired. Her speech is behind because she she has mild hearing loss. Children with Pierre Robin are prone to ear infections and they are also have small ear canals which results in fluid sitting in the ear canals. They said it's like she's walking around with ear plugs in. She isn't hearing the way she needs to to be able to learn to speak correctly. 

They have recommended another set of tubes (hers have fallen out since they placed them at 9 months) and they also are recommending taking out her tonsils. The ENT said they are huge and attributing to her snoring and gasping at night. She had 2 sleep studies done when she was 3 and 4 months old that showed she had obstructive sleep apnea. (normal for a Pierre Robin child). They want to do another sleep study to show that she still has it and taking the tonsils is necessary.

So right now we are trying to get the sleep study scheduled (they can't fit us in until March 12 and that just won't do). Once that is done then we can schedule her tubes and tonsils. Another surgery. I'm sure it won't be her last. It's so hard for me sometimes because I look her and I don't see everything the doctors see. I see my sweet, precious baby girl. There's nothing wrong with her. She doesn't need surgery, but she does. She needs surgery. She needs therapy and will probably up into elementary school. I hate seeing her struggle with communicating. She knows exactly what she's trying to say, but when I don't understand her she gets frustrated. It breaks my heart.

But for now, I choose to be thankful. Thankful that her PRS (Pierre Robin Sequence) is not involved with another syndrome. Just a random happening. I'm thankful that she is thriving and just needs a little help in a few areas. Oh and we just got the news that insurance approved her therapy to be done in home! This is huge! Children who have therapy done in the home tend to do better because they are practicing all of these concepts in their home where they are comfortable. This also helps with Hudson as well because the only time they could fit us in twice a week was during his nap. So now he can nap while they do therapy in the play room.

Now if we can just get moved into our house, get the surgery done, then we can get started with therapy. That's not too much to ask right? Phew!

Now a photo dump of my sweet girl because I just can't get enough of her cheeks. Can you?