One Lovely Blog Award

I've been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by Stephanie at The Icing on Our Cake. Stephanie is such a sweet girl. We did our IVF cycles literally less than a week apart. I have felt such a connection with her and I am thankful that we found each other through this crazy journey of infertility :) 

Here are the rules:

1) Thank the one that nominated you.
2) Put up the picture for the One Lovely Blog Award.
3) Tell everyone seven things about yourself.
4) Nominate seven other people and tell them that you have nominated them.

Here are 7 things about me.

  1. I am totally a type A personality. Things MUST be a certain way and done perfectly or it'll bother me. OCD much?
  2. I am very tender hearted. When I was little my neighbor's cat was run over and my dad and I found her. After we went home, I went into my room and cried and sang a song I made up about the cat.
  3. Which brings me to my next fact, I love to sing! I've sang my whole life and love to roll the windows down and belt it while driving down the highway!
  4. I wish I could be on Broadway. Singing and dancing and being paid for it would be my dream job!
  5. I get my nails done every 2-3 weeks. I bit my nails up until I graduated college, but then I finally made the decision to stop and now my nails are long and beautiful. I love getting them painted and looking beautiful!
  6. My guilty pleasure is going to The Melting Pot, fondue restaurant. My favorite part is the main course when they bring out the meats and vegetables. I love to eat mushrooms with lots of their dipping sauce called "green goddess". It's to DIE for! Cream cheese, sour cream, parsley, YUM!
  7. My feets are ALWAYS cold. I have to sleep in socks pretty much all the time, even in the summer. Especially in the winter, right now!! My feet are never not covered.
My nominations:
3. Becca @ The Paro Post
4. Allison @ Moments Like This
5. Christine @ Bookishly Boisterous
6. Ashley @ Life As I Know It

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week 6- bump update and letters for baby

Bump Update
How far along? 6 weeks
Total weight gain: 1 pound. It's starting early! My tummy is already starting to pooch!
Maternity clothes?  I gave in and wore maternity pants the other day and the shirt in the picture is maternity and I love them! My tummy has started to pooch and I can't suck it in anymore. Maternity pants are just so much more comfortable. Since the pooch doesn't look like a baby bump (just like I had too many donuts), wearing maternity shirts gives me a little extra material to cover the fat. 
Stretch marks?  nope!
    Sleep: I've been sleeping great besides getting up to pee 1-2 times a night.
Best moment this week: getting to share with friends that we were pregnant.
Miss anything?  I miss working out. I went twice this week and JUST walked SLOWLY on the treadmill, but both times when I got home I was crampy and had spotting. I'm staying away from the gym for at least the rest of the 1st trimester. It's not worth it.
Food cravings: Nothing yet, but I crave food like a pregnant person even when I'm not pregnant, nothing seems any different to me!
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope and I hope it stays that way!
Gender: No clue, but we are hoping for a boy!
Labor signs: I sure hope not! He just got in there :)
Symptoms: headaches, cramping, constantly peeing. Nothing too bad yet!
Belly button in or out?  In! And I don't think it will ever pop. It's the deepest inney ever!
Wedding rings on or off: On.
Happy or moody most of the time: This past week I've been very happy, but still very cautious. Yesterday was the day we lost our last pregnancy (5 weeks 6 days). I am happy to have past that day, but the anxiety still hasn't subsided like I thought it would.
Looking forward to: to spending time with family over Thanksgiving and telling them we are having a baby. Kyle wants to wait alittle longer, but this face can't hide ANYTHING, so it might be happening earlier than he wants ;)
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week 5- Bump Update and Letters for Baby

Bump Update
How far along? 5 weeks
Total weight gain: nothing yet!
Maternity clothes?  Nope! But I can't wait to wear them so things aren't fitting so tightly anymore.
Stretch marks?  Too early :)
    Sleep: I've been sleeping great!
Best moment this week: Getting our beta test back today and the numbers are amazing at 2152.
Miss anything?  I miss working out. I'm too scared to do anything right now! Hoping I get some courage soon! I'm ready to get back to the gym.
Food cravings: Nothing yet, but I crave food like a pregnant person even when I'm not pregnant, nothing seems any different to me!
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope and I hope it stays that way!
Gender: No clue, but we are hoping for a boy!
Labor signs: I sure hope not! He just got in there :)
Symptoms: headaches, cramping. Nothing too bad yet!
Belly button in or out?  In! And I don't think it will ever pop. It's the deepest inney ever!
Wedding rings on or off: On.
Happy or moody most of the time: I have been listening to a CD of encouraging songs that my bible study leader gave me, and every time I listen to it, I cry like a baby! I am so grateful for this miracle and God's faithfulness that oozes from our infertility story!
Looking forward to: Our first sonogram on December 1.
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week 4- Bump Update and Letters for Baby

I have decided I have wanted to write letters to our baby once a week until he/she is born. I plan on doing a bump picture update once I actually start showing, but for now, I will stick to "Letters for the Baby". So here we go! Week 4 letter to baby.

Sidenote: When I was pregnant back in July 2013, Kyle nicknamed our baby Petri. No, not like a petri dish, but Petri, the bird from Land Before Time. It's been his nickname for me for awhile and decided it was perfect for our baby! Since finding out we are pregnant again, Kyle came up with the nickname PJ (Petri Junior). And the funny thing is, that is where our sweet baby was conceived, a petri dish! It's funny how things work out that way :)

Bump Update
How far along? 4 weeks (my weeks change over on a Monday, so almost 5 weeks)
Total weight gain: I'm not going ANYWHERE near a scale! Since we had to do IVF, I've been off working out for the past month, and it's killing me! Once I go to my OB at 8 weeks, I'll start my posting weight gain.
Maternity clothes?  Nope! But I do have a feeling I'm going to need maternity pants sooner than I thought! I'm short waisted and this baby has no place to go but OUT! :)
Stretch marks?  Too early :)
    Sleep: Sleeping wonderfully! I think it's because we got our positive and the stress level has gone down immensely!
Best moment this week: Getting our 2nd beta test back on Wednesday and PJ's numbers had more than doubled!
Miss anything?  wine and sushi. Two of my favorite things to eat and drink.
Food cravings: Nothing yet, but I did find out today that I do NOT like eggs anymore!
Anything making you queasy or sick?  I haven't gotten sick yet, but I've been having constant headaches. An old wives tale says that means it's a boy!
Gender: No clue, but we are hoping for a boy!
Labor signs: I sure hope not! He just got in there :)
Symptoms: headaches, cramping. Nothing too bad yet!
Belly button in or out?  In! And I don't think it will ever pop. It's the deepest inney ever!
Wedding rings on or off: On.
Happy or moody most of the time: I am so excited that we are pregnant! Happiness all the way!
Looking forward to: Our first sonogram on December 1.
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And Then There Were Three

Yes, you are reading that correctly! We got our results and we are pregnant!
I had my beta test on Monday morning, but Kyle and I planned on taking a home pregnancy test before he left for work so that we could experience it together!

Well recently I've been having to pee alot! Good sign right? Well I woke up and had to go. I rolled over and looked at the clock and it was ONLY 3:30am!! What?! I can't hold it for another 2 hours! So then I started thinking, "well if I go now, I won't be able to go later." What to do? Well I can't hold it so I gotta go! I heard Kyle turning over while on my way to the bathroom. I asked if he was awake, he said he was. So we decided to do it right then. So I did my thing and then sat on the bed for 3 minutes. My heart was in my chest and everything we had been doing in preparation for IVF was done. This was it! We went back into the bathroom to look at the tests and this is what we found!
We were shocked! At first the 2 pink lines test didn't show the 2nd pink line, which made no sense since the digital said yes, but when we looked real close, that little pink line was there! Granted, we were half asleep so it may have been clearer had we been more awake :)

We got back in bed, but of course neither of us could sleep. So yesterday, was a tiring day since we had been up since 3:30 but we wouldn't trade it for the world!
I went in for my beta test yesterday morning and my nurse Joan knew immediately that I cheated :) I had a huge smile on my face! I just can't hide it. My beta was 50 and I'm going back on Wednesday for another beta test. They said it needs to be at least 100. Praying the baby keeps growing strong and the HCG continues to grow. I don't know if I can handle another loss. I know I know, how can I be talking about losing the baby already? It's because I've been there. I've been there when they told me by beta numbers were fine and we still lost the baby. I was there when we lost the baby 10 days after we found out.

I am guarded and I have a right to be. I'll probably be guarded for awhile. At least until the 1st trimester is over if not longer. If I can make it to 6 weeks and I can see that baby and hear the heart beat, I know I will start feeling better. At least I hope so.

But today I will rejoice in this little one's life. I came across this bible verse on Sunday and after I read it, I felt such a sense of peace. I knew God was going to take care of us and our baby.
If you are a friend or family member, we do plan to share this amazing news soon! Please keep the news to yourself and allow us to share it when we are ready!
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The Stork Award

I am so excited to be nominated for the Stork Award by Stephanie from Neubauer Haus.

Click here to see the description of the award created by blogger, Teresa, from Where the Bleep is our Stork?
How it works:
  1. Include the Stork Award icon in your post.
  2. Link to the person(s) who nominated you.
  3. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
  4. Nominate as many bloggers as you want to receive the award.
  5. Ask your nominees 10 new questions.
  6. Link your nominees and let them know they've been nominated.
  7. Post the Stork Award icon on your blog side bar if you are so inclined.
Stephanie's Questions

What is your favorite band/musician?
Oh this is hard! I love so many! I would say my favorites all fall into the country category. I'm a Texan for goodness sake! Here are some of my favs. Carrie Underwood, Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert, Sugarland, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Eli Young Band, Thompson Square, Rascall Flatts, Lady Antebellum, The Band Perry, Zac Brown Band, and many more! I also love Christian bands that include Bethel, Hillsong, Matt Redman. Told ya I don't have a favorite! :)

What do you like most about yourself?
I love that I am an open book. Whether it's about infertility or another part of my life, I am always open to share. I guess some people may say that could be a flaw, but for me, it's one of my favorite things about me!

What quality/qualities did you find in your husband that attracted you to him?
Honestly, the first thing that attracted me to him was his looks! He's tall, blue eyes, blonde hair. Make a girl melt! After I got to know him, I fell in love with his drive to do amazing at whatever he does and strives to make my life amazing!

If you are a working woman, do you really truly like your job?
I do. I have been a full time teacher for the past 5 years, but this year I moved to a part time position within the school and I absolutely love it!

Do you have any fears (heights, spiders, dark, etc)?
HEIGHTS! Ugh. I start shaking! And snakes! Hate those little slithering things!!

What are your favorite types of movies (comedy, drama, action, scary, romantic comedies, etc)?
I love comedies and girly romantic movies! Ever since I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre, scary movies were OUT!

If you could be an animal for a day, what you you be and why?
I would be a dog! They sleep all day and then get to play when you get home. Sounds like a great life!

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing that you would buy?
Gosh, that's a hard question! Probably a new car or possibly some lipo! Haha! Doesn't every woman have something they want to fix on their body?

What is the next thing on your "to do" list?
The next thing on my to do list is to have a baby!

What is your favorite childhood memory?
My favorite childhood memory would be hard to narrow down to one. I would have to say the first one that came to my mind would be when I was chosen to play Mary in our 2nd grade Christmas play. I got to sing a solo and that performance really opened my eyes for the love of singing!

Here are my nominees:

Allison from Moments Like This
Amber from Three Ladies and Their Gent
Ashley from Life As I Know It
Naomi from Wonderfully Vanilla

Here are my questions:
1. Are you the oldest, youngest, or middle child?
2. What is an embarrassing story about yourself?
3. How long have you and your husband been together? (dating and marriage)
4. Are you a dog or cat person?
5. If you could have a trip anywhere, where would you go?
6. What actor do you have a crush on?
7. What is your dream job?
8. What's your favorite piece of jewelry to wear?
9. Do you have a special querk about you? (touch your nose with your tongue, wiggle your ears, etc.)
10. What is your favorite feature about yourself?

Enjoy ladies!

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I have to put that where?!

Today's post I am going to into depth about the progesterone shots. This can be the scariest part of the IVF process. I know it was for me! That was until I actually did the shot. Here are my tips for you to give and take the progesterone shots with ease!

But first, let's be honest, the struggle is real, there ain't nothing sexy about shots!
See the ice pack on the counter? Ice before you give the shot!!! It really makes a difference!
when you pull the progesterone into the syringe, turn it upside down so you can climate any air bubbles. They sting a little going in! 
Whatever side you are giving the shot, lift that leg so the muscle in your toosh isn't tense.
hold onto something so you don't fall over! :)
Remember to smile!
I know, I know, how can shots be fun? The IVF process can be so serious, and sometimes you just gotta laugh! There was night when Kyle was giving me my shot, and I just started laughing hysterically. I hadn't iced as well as I should have and when he went to put the needle in, it caught me by surprise! I have no clue why, but it made him laugh and it was needed!

After the shots I always sit on a heating pad. It helps the Progesterone absorb into your muscle. It also helps you not be so sore the next day!

And to leave you with a fun little story, a friend and I went to The Melting Pot for ladies night out this past Thursday and she had mentioned I couldn't have an alcoholic drink so of course our waitress asked "Are you pregnant?" So instead of responding with, "Well we just did IVF and we are waiting to find out…" I just responded with "Yes." It was so much fun to say YES!

And at the end of dinner, our waitress brought me this adorable little plate with "Good Luck" and 2 little teddy bears, 1 blue and 1 pink! Of course, I cried! Darn hormones! It was the first time to really be considered pregnant, and I just loved it!
Our first attempt at this failed because the PINK teddy bear and the PINK safety pin fell off and the blue teddy bear was the only was left! So we are pretty confident that the baby is a boy! ;)

So I'm Letting Go

Well, the panic has set in. I have been fine since the embryo transfer on Saturday, but starting last night, it really started sinking in if this is really going to work.

Should I have pushed harder for doing 2 embryos instead of 1?

Should I be feeling something? People keep asking, "how do you feel?" I always answer "fine", but really what I want to say is "I don't know!! How should I feel?" My last pregnancy I felt nothing besides cramping that I thought was my period but in fact it was implantation cramping. I've been having those cramps again, so I'm hoping that's a good thing.

Should we have put off the embryo transfer and done a FET to allow my body to settle down? I was on the verge of OHSS and with my body in it's crazy hormonal mode, it might not take.

All of these questions were going through my head as I drove home from school today and they just kept rolling around and then it was almost like God said, "Ashley listen to me!" I stopped thinking for a second and heard what was on the radio. My eyes immediately welled up and I felt a sense of peace. The song that was playing was "Lift Me Up" by The Afters and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

You life me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I'm letting go
You lift me up when I can't see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I'm letting go

God knew exactly what I needed to hear. I stopped right then and prayed that He would take away the panic and uneasy feelings and make these next 5 days go by quickly. That's all He calls us to do. He calls us to lay our burdens down at His feet and let him handle them.

So if you are reading this, I would ask you to think about what things are rolling around in your mind right now, whether it is infertility, the loss of a baby, the negative results of a pregnancy test, or something completely different. Take everything that is putting you into a panic and let it go. God's arms are wrapped around us and his loves catches us and we just need to let go. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere.

Start letting go.
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Embryo Transfer

Well the day came and we were so extremely excited! Can you tell by our faces?
Kyle said we needed a "momma to be" picture. Aww! He's so sweet!

We got to Dallas IVF and changed into my beautiful gown and waited for the embryologist to come and talk with us. The nurse brought me my valium to calm my nerves. I didn't really feel it, but Kyle said I was very zen. :)

We were on cloud 9, but unfortunately when the embryologist came in, emotions started to run high. We hadn't talked to anyone about how many embryos we'd be transferring. We wanted to do 2, but were open to the doctor's recommendation.

So the embryologist (not my regular doctor) comes in and starts talking about how they have 1 beautiful embryo they want to transfer and blah blah blah. Remember, I've already taken my valium. So I was a bit loopy. I stopped her and asked about the possibility of transferring 2, which she immediately shot that idea down. She wouldn't listen and I felt completely bullied. These are OUR babies and I will put in as many as I want!

I understood the reasoning behind just transferring 1 embryo, but I didn't feel heard. Then she shoved a form in my face for me to sign to consent to 1 embryo. I told her Kyle and I needed a few minutes to talk and asked her to leave.

I could feel the hot tears welling up and I tried my hardest not to let them roll down my face. I felt bullied into one of the most important decisions of my life. I think the embryologist knew I was not feeling confident with the decision, because Dr. Ku came in.

Thank the Lord he did. Like Kyle told his parents last night, "Dr. Ku knows how to talk to Ashley." And yes he does! I love our Dr. Ku. He came in and immediately and talked me through it all. He said we had so many amazing embryos and the one they chose was beautiful! He is very confident that it will take and if it doesn't, they will for sure do 2 next time.

The transfer went beautifully! Here is our beautiful baby who is snuggling his (yes, we've decided it's a boy) way into my lining as we speak! Actually, he should already be snuggled in and getting very comfy in his home for the next 9 months!And now we just wait. I'm hoping these next 9 days go quickly! I love being PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). That's right! There is a baby inside me and I AM PREGNANT!! :) Meet our little baby!

 After 30 minutes of being inverted on my gurney (apparently my uterus sits up and down and not side to side like it should so Dr. Ku wanted gravity to help us out), we were allowed to go home. We got in the car, I propped up my feet, and Kyle drove to the nearest Einstein's Bagels. My favorite breakfast treat! He treats me like a princess!

I also had the wonderful privilege of hanging out with Amber from Three Ladies and Their Gent. I found her blog when we first starting going through infertility. Her and her husband's story is so similar to Kyle and I's. I found out that they lived close to us, and we have been emailing back and forth for the past year and we finally got to meet up this Friday and I got to love on her sweet girls, Parker and Jolie! Both our husbands said, "Isn't it going to be weird, meeting up with someone you don't know?"To which we both replied, "heck no, it's like we know each other already!" We had a blast!
So glad God brought the two of us together!! I treasure all of the encouragement she has given me over the past year!
Parker walking like a champ! They are only 11 months old and are both walking with confidence! Amber's hands are full for sure!
look at that cheesin' grin!
Jolie and I were having some serious conversation! Parker is behind crawling away! That girl is always on the move!
So now we wait till November 11. I'm praying I don't get the call at work. I get off at 12:30 and that's in the middle of lunch time so hopefully it'll be an afternoon call! I don't want to be around anyone when I hear either way. I want to be able to express my emotions freely no matter the results.

Prayers for all my mommas who are in their two week wait and for those mommas who have recently gotten results that weren't ideal. I love you all and value all of the relationships I've grown through this blogging experience!
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