As someone who has struggled with body image, pregnancy has thrown me for a loop!
Everyone is built differently and for me, my body frame is small so alittle bit of extra somethin' somethin' makes a huge difference.
For me I was always able to maintain my weight, but after college, and no longer having my crazy freaking fast metabolism (darn getting older), it made it a lot harder.
I had to work at staying at the weight I wanted to be. Then the curse of hypothyroidism hit and so did infertility. Hormones were started and I really had NO control over my body and how I gained weight, even with watching what I ate and working out.
When we found out we were pregnant I was about 5 pound shy of what I wanted my MAX pregnancy weight to be!
I struggled with the fact that I was STARTING my pregnancy at the weight I wanted to be at 9 months pregnant.
Now, I am not complaining of gaining weight. As someone who has struggled with conceiving, I will never complain about anything associated with pregnancy. I know I need to to keep my baby healthy, but it doesn't mean I don't struggle with it every time I look in the mirror.
My face was bloated from all the progesterone shots and my body was bloated from the process of IVF. I was starting my pregnancy big. I started showing VERY fast, but it didn't look like a pregnant bump. It just looked fat.
Then I realized that I was worshipping myself and my body. God created me and my body in his most perfect image. And I am stomping all over that.
I have become obsessed with how I look, what people think of me, and how much weight I'm gaining.
I would sit and look at my bump update pictures and touch up my double chin and try to figure out how to position my face for the next week's picture to eliminate that double chin! The maddness must stop!
It has to stop. The self destructive talk of how fat my face looks or the fact that my bum and boobs are literally doubled in size has to stop.
So to counter act the negative feelings, I have made a list of things I plan on putting into action ASAP.
1. Be thankful.
I am finally pregnant. God has blessed Kyle and I with a baby that we have been praying for for a very long time. And I never want to seem ungrateful for this amazing gift.
2. Get up and move!
For the past 3 weeks I have been getting myself to the gym (3-4 times a week) and making myself work out. I may not feel like it, but I know that it's important for me and for my baby. If the gym is too much for you, then just get active! A walk around the block once a day is enough!
3. Be kind.
I need to start telling myself I'm beautiful and believing it. God has made me the way that I am and He does not make mistakes. I need to remind myself of this when those thoughts creep into my mind. And when Kyle tells me I'm beautiful, I need to believe it!
4. Spoil myself.
My body is changing constantly and I've decided that once a month I am going to purchase an outfit that fits me at that point in my pregnancy. We need to feel pretty at every stage of our pregnancy and having clothes that fit right and look right is so important! I hate sitting in my closet wanting to cry because nothing fits!
5. Give myself more grace.
My body is changing! It's supposed to! Things are supposed to get bigger and ya know what? It's ok! I am beautiful and you better believe I'm going to rock this bump and my gigantic tatas! :)
I need to give my insecurities to the Lord. He is the only one who can make me feel better about myself and who make me see how beautiful I really am!
Will you join me in this plan? Even if you are not pregnant, but are going through IVF or hormones and are dealing with your body image. Every woman deals with her body image at some point in her life and we need to rally together and remind each other of how beautiful we are no matter our size!
**This is not a post to ask for compliments. It is a post that I hope can encourage other women who are struggling with their body image. I am slowly learning to accept my growing and changing body and I hope that this helps you do the same**